Friday, June 19, 2009

State of Mind

I am slowly coming to terms with the new me. After much introspection, I realize that my brain fuzzies are happening because I must make an adjustment on how I visualize my self. In my mind, I was a competent, reliable, safe driver. Now, after the "unfortuanate series of events", there is a crack, not only on my car, but in my mental image. My sense of being in control has been cracked as well. I am not a controlling person, in the sense of wanting to be large and in charge of others. I retired from that many years ago. Just control of me and my life is what I want. Now that little bit of control has been taken from me. That is what's bothering me I think. People I don't know have control of some aspects of my life. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, I suppose. Time and distance will help me to let go and be okay agan.
Adjustments will take place. Broken things will get mended. I will go on as I always have.

1 comment:

Blessings each day said...

I feel so bad for you with this situation, as I had such a similar thing occur and the lady was suing my insurance company and we had to go before lawyers and give testimony and then it was supposed to go to court. She changed her mind at the last minute and agreed to a settlement offered by the insurance company.

Please just take deep breaths, think positive thoughts (sometimes my "positive thoughts" were ...gosh I am just positively miserable...:o))and say some prayers...I will pray that you start feeling better over all.

Believe me, I was pretty traumitized by it all but do remember that most people don't want all the hassles of legal proceedings.

blessings and prayers,