I am puzzled by my feelings of helplessness and my brain is in a whirl. My faith in my God is strong and I know He will help me get through this. However, the frail human me is unsure. I want to put these feelings away and have complete trust that all will work for my good, so why do I let myself feel sad and helpless. It could be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it must work its way out of me.
To explain the above....and it's a little traumatic to divulge this....I have been driving, accident-free for almost 52 years. Last Friday, late afternoon, I was involved in a "fender bender"....literally my front fender is slightly dented and the headlight and day driving lights are also slightly damaged. I was not able to stop completely behind the car in front, whose driver had pulled to the right and stopped because several huge fire trucks were coming from the left (north) out of the station. I was momentarily distracted by the frightening sound of sirens and these huuuuge trucks going east (as I was) into the lane I was in. Knowing that I should go over to the right lane, I did that and then I saw that the car ahead had stopped. Ironically, I was being careful to stay well back and go less than the 50kmh (about 30mph) as it was a driving school car and I was concerned that a student driver might be driving it and be a little unsure or drive slowly or erractically (turns out there was no student in the car). I braked as quickly and as hard as I could, and as the saying goes, "2 little inches can make all the difference"that is all I would have needed to not hit the car and I hit his back bumper. The bumper had two little (under 1 1/2 ") tears in the rubber/plastic. It was the sort of damage that you could get if a sharp object was behind you and you backed into it. I was not charged with anything, because the fact was, that the distractions of 3 trucks coming across the highway gave me very little time to react. The firefighters and EMS people backed me up on this. There were no injuries to me and, here's the disturbing part for me, the other driver (male) was perfectly fine, walking around, talking on his bluetooth and when the EMS worker asked if we were okay, I said I was fine...my seatbelt had not even got tight across my chest, and my pulse was about 90 when he took it. When he asks male driver, he replies, " well my neck might be sore". So EMS person takes him to the ambulance, checks him out and says he's okay, but as per protocol asks if the man wants to be checked out by a physician at the walk-in clinic. He opts to do that and goes by ambulance to the hospital walk-in clinic; he wouldn't wait for the police who got there about 10 minutes later.
I conducted myself in a calm manner, I did not panic, although I was a bit hyper, and gave my information to the police officer. Now I am waiting for the "other shoe to drop". In Ontario we have No-fault insurance. Which means that each driver contacts their own insurer. That insurer then contacts the other insurance company for compensation as warranted. As there is less damage to my car than the deductable I would pay, I am not contacting my insurer. In a few days I will be able to get the accident report from my nearest police station. So, now I am left wondering how the other person will conduct himself, given his decision to go to the emerg. Was he being cautious, or looking to get more $$$$ compensation from the insurance companies? I want to believe that he will be an honourable person and not go for the dough, but, people will do what they believe they can get away with.
Now, dear reader, if you have read this far, do you perceive that I am a little unsure of the outcome? I know I must wait, but the wait is doing in my head right now.
Gosh, I am nearly 70 and I don't need this much excitement in my life. Please God, help me to know that You are in charge and all I need to do is have faith to Let Go and Let God take care of me.